My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
