According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
