Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
