im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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