I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
