turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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