you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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