I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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