It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize