Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
