we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
