We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
