Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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