I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
