We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
