my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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