the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
