i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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