there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
