Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
