I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
