I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
