dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
