The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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