So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
