dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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