the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
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Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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