I'd wear matching sweaters with you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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