It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
