yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
