I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
