When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
