I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
