this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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