I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
