"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
