Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
