is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
me + whiskey = a bad person
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