I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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