Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
