Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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