That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
