help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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