I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
