Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
