You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
