open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
