garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How does one acquire holy water?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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