She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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