I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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