Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
