i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
