just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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