I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
