I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
