I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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