he shaved USA in his pubs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Text me some of your sweat
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