Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
