I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do vagina's smell?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
