a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
