I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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