Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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