i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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